Nick v1 – Introspection

Nick watched as Vince went to his room, before turning away and looking at the book that lay in front of him. He picked up the copy of The Book of Nod, thumbing through it before grabbing a notebook from one of his go bags. He sat down to read, jotting down questions as he thought of them, and otherwise making notes. He managed to get through the Chronicle of Caine before using the map Vince had given him as a temporary bookmark.

He felt he could have continued, but he didn’t want to overwhelm himself, hence the break. Not only that, but his mind was beginning to get jumbled with other thoughts, and focus had been starting to wane a little. Standing up from the couch, he stretched, collected The Book of Nod and his notebook, then headed to his room. 

He tossed the books on top of his go bag, and picked up his guitar before sitting on the edge of the bed. It was an old, beat-up acoustic that had been his grandfathers, and had been gifted to him when he started learning. Making sure the door was closed, he began to tune it, and thought about playing, something he normally did when he had things on his mind. He started, then stopped, remembering Vince was across the hall, and might not appreciate the noise at this hour. To be on the safe side, he put the guitar back and pulled out his earbuds instead. Once paired, he began playing music as he rolled over onto his back, placed his hands behind his head, as the music played background to his thoughts. 

A lot had happened in a short time, and he needed to process that. First and foremost, he was safe, and he had Alex and Adam to thank. Sadly, Alex had been all too right about what Jerome would do, evidently, as he had met Final Death. He felt he owed Adam, but wasn’t sure how he could ever repay the man. Perhaps, though, helping Tavi earlier in the evening had been a large step in that direction. 

Speaking of Tavi, she certainly was an interesting sort, with a definite mischievous streak, and a good heart. Maybe too good for being a vampire, but that wasn’t his place to say. She did need to learn to make those hard choices, though. Overall, he liked her well enough, and hopefully wasn’t clinging too hard, but Adam had introduced her, and he felt like she could be trusted because of that. So far, he’d been proven right. He couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for her, though, due to her dissociative identity disorder. It must be difficult, and he hoped he was handling things well, as far as all that went. 

Concerning her other personalities, he’d met a few. Tamiel was one he had been warned about, though when he had met her she seemed courteous enough. Quinn he had only met in brief, as she had dealt mostly with Billy and then Adam at the time. As he understood it, she was a real sweetheart that cared a lot about others – and was someone Vince was in love with, he thought. Skittles, on the other hand, was a ball of energy that reminded him far too much of Liv. Not that that was wholly a bad thing.       

Adam was harder to decipher, but that could have just been that Nick was too used to Jerome’s style of Ventrue. Adam’s style seemed more subdued; calculated. Unless Tavi was around, then it was like he was alive again. The two really did make a cute couple. 

Tavi’s friend’s Ronan and Ollie were interesting, though he wondered it was wise to be so friendly with members of the Sabbat. Still, he liked them well enough. Ollie was a bit over the top, but he chalked that up to Ollie’s being gay, or so he suspected. Nick still didn’t know what to think about the “You’d make a great drag queen” comment he’d given him. Ollie was also kind of scary with that whole…thing he did to the corpse earlier. 

Ronan could almost be kin, of a sort, just based on musical ability. He had a great voice, and some good looks too. Nick had thought about trying to casually flirt, but decided he didn’t know enough to try.

Billy was an intriguing guy. Friendly, willing to help, and had been very welcoming to Nick, though he was still on the fence about him with his sister. Billy seemed trustworthy enough, so he would wait and see on the sister front. On the friend front, it seemed like Billy was someone that could be counted on. 

Sierra was fiercely protective of Tavi, which was good, and she’d agreed to stop calling him Buzzcut, thankfully. For what it was worth, she was good people; a loyal friend, and someone he wouldn’t mind staying on the good side of. 

Tony he didn’t know very well, but he could appreciate his work ethic. While he seemed to wallow in the underbelly of society, he’d admitted as much to not particularly enjoying it, though he didn’t mind doing it. That spoke some to his character, and Nick felt that maybe, in some small way, they were similar, in that they both liked to get the job done, though this had never been expressed aloud.

While he’d never met the guy, he’d heard some stories about Liam, and while he’d heard some good things, he still wouldn’t mind decking the guy for abandoning his friends on short notice. Moreover, he was hating being called “New Liam” or “Liam 2.0” by some. It made him feel like he wasn’t being recognized as being his own person sometimes, or just being compared to this Liam guy in general. 

Then there was Vince, his new mentor. While he self-admittedly didn’t care for work, he seemed to be taking the role seriously, though it seemed colored somewhat by his current bitterness over Liam leaving. The guy was hurting, and Nick could sympathize – after all, he’d been through hell with at least one of his breakups, and was still recovering from the aftereffects of the other. His sister’s shipping of them bothered him a bit too, though as much as he had tried, he couldn’t convince her to stop, so he might as well give up on that front. He had some good looks too – those eyes of his were gorgeous. 

Closing his eyes, he forced himself to work on some breathing exercises, though they might not help. He could feel the loneliness and hurt creeping in at the memories of Ryan and Alyssa. Memories with Ryan was one of the reasons he was okay with leaving Vegas, and he had no idea what either of them were up to. You’re pathetic came a whisper in his head, and it took a brief second to realize it was his own voice. 

He knew why. He hadn’t been in a relationship since Alyssa, and damned if he wasn’t regretting it. Could he even be in a relationship now? He didn’t know, but he needed to get out there and find out. But how to go about it, exactly? He sighed. You get out there and flirt, idiot.

Trying to change his thought process, he switched gears to recent events. He was liking Phoenix fine so far, and was hoping that being accepted full wouldn’t take too long, but only time would tell. Then there was earlier this evening. He felt protective of Tavi already, and the kidnapping had only served to enforce the idea that he should look out for her, at least a little. Helping this idea along was the fact that there was a Skittles, and that she looked to be about as old as his sister. 

Then there were the deaths by his hand from earlier that evening. Did they deserve it? Maybe. Maybe not. Regardless of the what-ifs, there was still a measure of guilt there; just more bodies to join those killed when he was in service. No, No, no no. he told himself. He refused to get morose again – there had been enough of that already, and the talk of suicidal tendencies earlier hadn’t exactly helped. Vince was right – he should look into therapy.

Opening his eyes, he lifted his phone and quickly swapped playlists to one that was purely upbeat, and soon enough he was lost in the music. By the time he began to feel the pull of sleep, he was feeling better. He sat up, took out his earbuds and set his phone to charge, changed, and got comfortable, and waited for sleep to claim him.

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