We were on our way out the door to pack up Dave’s, when Tony and Sayuri came home. After a brief talk, we decided to just make it moving day. Sayuri rented a truck, and we headed to Dave’s first, where his mom actually dropped the accent. I mean, she still had a little bit of one, but it wasn’t as overly exaggerated as it tends to be. She was proud of Dave though for securing a good job, and it’s clear she’s going to miss him.
Tony’s place was next, and there were no problems there – unless you count his parents deliberately not being home while he was there. There was just Tabby, and she pretty much left us alone to pack up Tony’s stuff before we collected everything else from the garage, and headed to Sayuri’s place to pack her up. I stepped away from everyone else at one point to call Dad and see how he was doing, and ask if there was anything he wanted me to have, or anything he wanted me to bring back. He said he was doing better, that there wasn’t anything else, and I was free to keep those couple boxes of my mom’s things.
Dad briefly mentioned having a bit of a cry at my empty room, which made me feel bad. I went downstairs to speak with Machiko, and ask her to just…help Dad not be so alone right now. I’m honestly worried about him. I can’t think of a time I’ve seen him cry, let alone admit to it. In my mind, he’s always been this kind, honorable, reserved man. A small part of me is worried about him being alone. That part wants he and Machiko getting a place together to hurry up and happen.
When I returned upstairs, I let Sayuri know that her mom wanted to talk to her, then proceeded to pack up her art while Billy did a very Billy thing and wear a pair of her panties on his head. He continued to wear them until after Sayuri returned and we were just about done packing. I did note that Sayuri grabbed a pair to pull on. I guess it didn’t occur to me that she would have taken off her vibrating ones, especially in a skirt as short as what she was wearing.
We had dinner at KFC, and for what seems like for the first time in forever, we were normal again. No topics of world shattering impact – just us being kids, even if tugging at the back of my mind was the memory that last time I was there, I abandoned everything to rescue Billy from the edge of that bridge.
At home, we left the truck in the driveway, heading inside to relax. Eventually, we all cozied into the jacuzzi to relax and ease up some soreness. Again, things were fine and great – no having to think about impending problems, or even recent ones. At least until Sayuri popped into my head with a question.
See…while we were out, Billy had the contractors come in and start working. Things were all over the place, so rather than drag things back in, only to have them dragged back out later, Billy suggested camping out in the backyard. Sayuri had pinged me to ask if I was ok if she and Tony invited Billy to their tent tonight, though she was quick to add she wasn’t planning on doing anything with him.
I told her I was fine with it, whether or not anything happened. Billy can do as Billy does, I’m not the boss of him. Things were quiet again for a bit, until Sayuri started giggling out of nowhere. Apparently, a joke had been made between her and Tony at some point that everyone needed to have a turn with Billy. The quiet was definitely broken by then, and the conversation seemed like it was starting to head in a direction I didn’t want to be there for, so I excused myself and climbed out, toweled off, redressed and headed for the living room.
Frank joined me, as I was idly sketching ideas for the bedroom and doodling on a different page when I got stuck on my design. He glowed a little bit, but I know from past conversations he glows really brightly when Sayuri draws. Guess maybe there just wasn’t a lot of creativity to be had in the moment – my thoughts were all over the place, after all.
At some point the rest of the group decided to do grocery shopping for the camping thing tonight. They boys went to do the shopping, as Sayuri elected to stay behind with me. After joining me in the living room, we talked a little bit, where she asked, again, if I was ok with her having Billy join her and Tony. Within the conversation, I told her I had made a choice about being with Dave and why. She agreed with me on my reasoning and decision. So why does it bother me that she so readily agreed with me?
I had additionally mentioned that I didn’t even know how Billy felt about what I had unveiled the other night, and she made the casual suggestion that maybe we all just need to sit down and talk as a group. Maybe, maybe not. I’m reluctant to do so, and I think it’s mostly because I don’t want to be scolded again. The subject was changed to maybe trying to prank the guys, but since we couldn’t think of anything, I went upstairs to meditate over the sword.
I wanted to try and connect with its spirit. Apparently, there are more than one? I am guessing, due to whomever I was speaking to repeatedly using ‘we’. I wanted to know if I was worthy of having it, because honestly, I’m not sure I deserve it, though it’s a recently acquired (to me) heirloom from my mother’s family, going back seventeen generations. I know a little of the history of the blade, and learned I am not the youngest to wield it. Perhaps I should look into doing some genealogy research on my mother’s side of the family. I don’t know that I would have the time to do it myself, so maybe hire someone?
When the guys got back, they had someone with them. It was a girl from our school that Billy occasionally sold to. Emmi was her name, and she invited herself to our camp out. Billy asked the rest of us, and we said sure, but still. She was a little rude, putting her feet on the table as soon as she was told to have a seat. I made a comment about it, and she snarked back that she was told to make herself at home. I told her it was my home and I didn’t appreciate it, and reminded Billy I told him the same thing, though apparently he thought it was just because of the roller blades.
Sayuri had taken it upon herself earlier to locate and set up the tents, so we headed out back to get started. No one could think of anything to do, so we just kinda chilled and relaxed. Eventually, we went to bed. Sometime during the night, I had a dream that started out great, but turned into a nightmare.
It was one of those kinds of dreams, where I was with Billy and Dave, and things were going great. Next thing you know, Billy is stabbed in the back, and Danny is there, crying as she starts stabbing Dave first, and then me, saying she’s trying to be better, over and over.
I awoke with a start, my first instinct to check on Dave, who was also awake now. He’d apparently aso dreampt about Danny, and based on a comment I heard Emmi make, so had she. I checked on everyone else as well. Sayuri was pretty shaken up by her Danny dream…everyone had a Danny dream, apparently. I reached out with my magic to try and see if she was in there area, but I didn’t touch on anything.
We decided to go back to sleep, and the rest of the night went fine. Morning, however? We find Emmi, asleep in a chair by the fire, with Tony’s shibari book on her chest. Sayuri immediately started yelling at her, and even Billy was upset with her, and told her to leave. To be honest, I hope she doesn’t come back. If she does, she had better have a better attitude. You don’t snoop around when people tell you not to, you don’t get snarky and nasty to people who don’t know anything about what you’re talking about. How rude can you get?
Ugh.
With everything that’s been going on, I find myself wanting to hide or avoid topics and situations. Honestly? Part of me hopes that there is a training program or facility at work where I can train to improve my non-magical skills. It….might help me focus? I don’t know. Maybe what I really need is someone outside the group to talk with, someone not in the middle or who has to deal with fallout from my decisions.
Machiko comes to mind – I did talk to her before after I slept with Reyr but…there’s too much risk in her telling Dad or Sayuri. I could maybe talk to Dad, but he’s already been burdened with so much information…I’d rather he focus on his relationship with Machiko. that….well, that would pretty much leave Reyr. That’s reluctance in and of itself becuase of temptation (I can’t help being attracted, ok?), and besides…he’s my mentor for my mage studies. I doubt he wants to be bothered with the problems of someone a decade younger.
I don’t know. I’ll figure it out eventually.
I hope.