There was silence for a time after Jett finished. Charles gave time to let Jett recover from the clearly emotional experience, while he himself processed, debating on how best to proceed next. After a reasonable amount of time had passed, he began to speak once more.
“That seems manipulative, to say the least.” came the simple reaction.
“I couldn’t bring myself to say no.” Jett responded, his voice rather quiet.
“I think, and this is speculation, maybe he himself doesn’t realize quite the effect he has on you. Logically, yes. I’m sure he knows how the blood bond works, don’t get me wrong, but the subconscious is a powerful thing. And if he’s convinced himself that you’re strong enough to resist it, or that you were saying yes without it or something, maybe in his mind…” Charles trailed off for the briefest of moments before continuing.
“I’m not here trying to victim blame, or defend these actions; simply trying to lend understanding. Right now, you’re going into it assuming that he’s disingenuous. And that leads you to think that you’ll be trapped in a never ending cycle, yes?”
“Yes. It’s been that way for a couple of hundred years so far.” Jett responded.
“So in other words, you are, by your own choice, eliminating hope. What harm would it do to continue to hope? To think that maybe this time he’s serious?” Charles asked.
“I want to believe him, I really do. Part of me does.”
“Then move forward as if it is. Don’t rule out actions because they might be off. I’m not saying that – yes, the possibility is true, that he’s manipulating you, that he’s lying, whatever else. But if you let that thought define your actions, then you’re just allowing him to continue controlling you. Move on as if he said nothing. Move on as if you don’t believe him. Move on as if you have a chance at freedom. That way, even if it doesn’t pan out, at least you’re doing what you want to do, Not what if he allows you to do.”
“What if I do that and it’s all just been another lie? I don’t think… I don’t… I don’t think I could do any fighting this time.” Jett said, not sounding very hopeful.
“Find a reason to fight. Find something to live for. I mean, pardon me if I say so, but you traveled all the way up here to Las Vegas to warn this kid. Yeah. What did you leave behind? Who did you leave behind?” Charles pressed.
“I don’t have anybody.” Jett admitted.
“Don’t you think that might be a problem? You have no support network, no one to lean on, no friends, no prospect of a normal life. You’ve been spending so much time hiding from him that you haven’t been able to live a normal life. So you look at yourself, and you go, what’s there to live for? I don’t have any fight left in me. What do I do if I lose?”
Charles let that sink in a moment before continuing. “What I’m trying to say is you need to forget about the pull he has on you and stop dwelling on it. I know, easier said than done. But hear me out. Spend your time doing the things you enjoy. Make some new friends. Enjoy – you’re in Vegas for fuck’s sake. If it doesn’t work, at least you’ve had a nice vacation in Vegas, made some new friends, tried some new things. You have a whole life to experience, that doesn’t have anything to do with Marcus. You’re the one who’s letting your relationship with him define your existence.”
“I suppose.” Jett said, though he was following.
“Suppose you start thinking beyond how everything relates to him. To put as an example, let’s say tonight I take you out, and I try to take you to one of the casinos. Go gamble, right? If you spend all night going, am I enjoying gambling or am I enjoying it because Marcus wants me to enjoy it? It’d be very self-defeating and silly, wouldn’t it?”
“Yea.”
“And yet that’s exactly what you’re doing with the other aspects of your life that you do engage in. You just don’t engage in anything frivolous enough to make it seem silly. But the truth is, whether the activity itself is serious or frivolous or not, the idea that you’re doing it because of him is just as silly regardless of the activity in question. Did you come here because Marcus wanted you to?” he asked.
“No.” Jett said. He certainly hadn’t.
“Did you warn this kid because Marcus wanted you to?”
“No.” Jett said again. It was probably the last thing Marcus wanted.
“So you still have freedom of thought, freedom of action. He’s not a puppet master. That’s Brandon’s job. I’ve seen it. It’s creepy. We set up a feeding when his friend first came back. You ever heard of a rat race?”
Jett thought for a moment. “No.”
“Disturbing practice.” Charles said. “Sabbat thing.”
“I mean, I know basics. I know of the factions. I don’t know much about their inner workings.” Jett admitted.
“Have you ever thought about becoming one? Aside from Marcus, obviously.” Charles asked, genuinely curious.
“I don’t really think about it too much. I mean, beyond the fact that it would be nice to not have to find constant supplies of feeding all the time. Find someone different. Do favors for people, for bullshit.”
“We do still have to feed fairly regular basis.”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to find people. You don’t have to worry.”
“We don’t have to worry about the blood bond as much.” Charles stated
“Right.”
“I’ll let you know now, that if you were to become one, that doesn’t necessarily break the blood bond. It can weaken it in some cases. Especially if someone else makes you. I’ve heard rumors that in some rare cases they can break the bond. But it seems more faith than science. And there are rumors of rituals, which, interestingly enough, Nick and his friends just killed a high ranking Tremere and raided his storehouse.” Charles again pointed out.
Jett shrugged. “Valuable to the right people.”
“And who knows, maybe they came across something that might be worth looking into. If not, and again, I’m guessing here, Mages, the true will workers, the actual magicians, not blood sorcery, not the Tremere, but the actual wizards. Who knows, maybe they can violate the blood bond somehow. I’ve seen them do pretty miraculous things. Who knows? Depending on which story you believe, the blood bond is a curse from God himself, and overruling that kind of curse might be hard. Again, who knows if that’s true to begin with or how powerful these guys are.” Charles said, dropping hints and speculation for Jett to ponder, and perhaps formulate a path.
“Fair enough.” Jett admitted. Charles had put forth some interesting thoughts.
“Would it be worth checking into?” Charles asked.
“Yeah, that’d be worth it.” Jett answered, answering after a bit more of his beer.
“But first and foremost, is you have to change your mindset about how you define your relationship with Marcus.”
“That’s easier said than done.” Jett grumbled.
“True. But he came in here, you said I’m his, he summoned me, you put a lot of focus on the connection between you two. What you need to do is start thinking about yourself outside of your relationship to him. What are your hobbies, what are your interests?” Charles asked.
“Cars. Music. Primarily those.”
“Focus on those things. Enjoy those things and realize that they have absolutely nothing to do with him, that you love those things in spite of him. Experience the things that have nothing to do with your blood bond. The less you pay attention to your blood bond, the less you think about it, the less it’s going to rule your life. And if you can get the blood from someone other than him, all the better.”
“I’ll have to look into that.“ Jett said. Charles was making a lot of sense. He could see that now. But how easy would that be to see when he was outside this office?
“There’s several people around here. I’d be willing to make a donation myself. As you said. I’m assuming you don’t want to be bound to anyone, though.”
“I prefer not. But like you said, there are rumors of ways to break it. And outside of what you do know of, I don’t even know how to get into that.” he confessed.
“I’m somewhat skilled in blood sorcery myself; I can try and look into it. It’s not something I’ve overly researched before, admittedly. Just hasn’t really come up. Most people that are blood bound are more than happy with their bond. Whether that’s because of the bond itself or other it’s hard to tell.”
“Yeah, I know. I know it’s a rare thing that people who fight against it. Just stubborn, I guess.”
“Nothing wrong with that. Kind of a good quality in some cases.” Charles stated.
“Yeah…and then you get people like Vince.” Jett paused for a moment. “Sorry. I found out he was here the other night.”
“Yeah. He had a very interesting yet effective way of getting me to quit using.” Jett admitted.
“You had substance abuse problems?” Charles asked.
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I’m glad you’re doing well, though.”
“Thank you.” Jett said.
“Hopefully your present circumstances don’t make you fall back.” Charles said, filing this information away.
“Hopefully not. I haven’t used in a while, and I don’t plan to. I have started smoking again recently. Cigarettes.” Jett mentioned, taking this moment to remove the crumpled pack from his jacket, crumple it further, and toss it into a nearby wastebasket.
“Might I suggest pot? I know it’s not what you usually expect a therapist to say, but you are mortal, you do have to worry about your lungs and such things. And, pot is legal in Nevada and less damage to your lungs. No, nicotine, not addictive at all. Chemically speaking, at least. Honestly, from a purely biological health standpoint, better choice. Whether you’re into that sort of thing or not, that’s something you can decide.”
Charles thought a moment before continuing, leaning back in his chair a little as he did so. “It sounds like you know several people, but you don’t associate with them readily. How long has it been since you talked to Petra? I’m assuming at least a few years?”
“Yeah.”
“What about Vince?”
“I never know where Vince is going to be at. I don’t – I don’t reach out, like I probably should.” Jet confessed.
“You said it, not me.” Charles said, letting that sink in. “Put it this way. Consider this a vacation. Forget everything else. Forget everything to do with you, Marcus. And you don’t even worry about that for right now. Enjoy Las Vegas. Make some new friends. Hang out. Rekindle your relationships with Petra and Vince while you’re at it, if you want to ask around about ways to break a blood, cool, but don’t think of it as a way to get away from Marcus. Think of it as dealing with the blood bond in general. Ignore the fact that he’s on the other end of the blood bond. And who knows, maybe you can find a cool car show here. Drag racing? I don’t know what you’re into.”
“Racing.” Jett answered, feeling a slight grin on his face.
“Oh. Okay, I was spot on. I like that. I could even ask around. I may or may not have a couple of underworld connections.”
“You seem like a well-connected guy from the way you’ve described yourself.” Jett pointed out.
“I treat everyone that comes through these doors equally, so I know people from all walks of life. Probably the best way to put it. I’ve even talked to Brandon a few times, in a semi-professional capacity. Since his return, at least.”
“I’m sure he’s got plenty on his mind these days, considering Petra. I understand that she’s been okay, but only just.”
“Yes. Over two years of her being mad. Lost, afraid of him.” Charles detailed.
“Couldn’t have been easy for him.”
“Not so much. Then seeing her become closer with Nick; he struggled with that. They got… close. He didn’t handle it very well.” Charles explained carefully.
“That’s… unusual for Brandon, as I understand him.”
“Yes, so he said himself, and he regrets what he did. But vampires, inner beast, rage monsters, all that. I’m sure you’ve at least witnessed some of it, if not experienced it yourself.”
“Definitely. Yeah.” Jett said, nodding a little.
“There you have it.” Charles said, leaving things to hang in the air a moment before continuing. Brandon himself seems to struggle with certain issues that remind me a bit of your situation with Marcus.”
“Are you saying I should talk to Brandon?” Jett asked.
“Probably worse people to talk to.”
“Probably.” Jett admitted.
“He sees Petra as both a potential lover, but also sort of as a child. He has a bond with her that he doesn’t know how to fully reconcile. And although he wants her to be free and live her own life and be happy, he still feels possessive of her, gets jealous if other people get too close. The emotions are confusing. And Marcus being who and what he is, I at least suspect that perhaps his emotions are in just as much turmoil. Perhaps he just doesn’t know how to express them properly. As I understood, that’s the fault of his clan.”
“I don’t know a lot about his clan.”
“Long story. Another time. But, they’re like vulcans. No emotion to express.” Charles offered.
“I could gather that much just based on Marcus.”
“Right. So what if it’s all calm on the surface and perhaps even comes across as malicious or manipulative? But do you really know what’s going on inside? Perhaps he’s as confused and scared as anyone else. Perhaps he doesn’t know how to deal with himself, and that’s why he seeks your companionship.”
“Maybe you should talk to him.” Jett muttered.
“Not my place to approach him. But, if he were to come into my doors and tell me that, for instance, he is a whirlwind of emotions and only finds comfort and relaxation in your arms, I wouldn’t be surprised. Life as long as him, thousands of friends dead, families deceased, entire lineages fall into time before him. And the one constant thing in his life, the one thing that he loves more than anything else, constantly pushing him away, rejecting him, hating him. I wonder what effect that would have on someone. Am I saying he’s dealing with it appropriately? Obviously not. But I think I can understand why he would seek refuge. The only way he knows how… What the man needs is to learn a better method. Just a thought. Speculation, of course. I could be talking out my ass.”
“Yeah, you could be. And you’re making me feel guilty.” Jett said, sounding annoyed.
“Not my intent. Not my intent.” Charles apologized.
“No, it’s not your fault.”
“Keep in mind, I’m not trying to seek guilt or innocence. Understanding, though, I think is important.”
“Just fair, I think. Part of my problem where these feelings crop up and everything is…” he trailed off a moment, thinking of phrasing. “I can remember everything that’s ever happened to me – I have a photographic memory.”
“A gift and a curse.” Charles admitted.
“Exactly. Not pleasant having to deal with Marcus and various jobs I’ve taken up over the years.” he said with a slight sigh.
“Now, I believe you said he had traded you to some people who didn’t treat you so well?” Charles prompted.
“Yeah. I believe the intent was to educate me in things he was not knowledgeable in, or just have to have different experiences than what he could provide for me. That’s the way he talked, at least.”
“Right…but it sounds like there was some trauma at the hands of those people. Which is always something we could deal with separately, too. I’m assuming you’ve never seen a counselor before?” Charles asked.
“No.”
“There’s nothing wrong with it. And my rates are pretty reasonable. Generally free. This is how it works. I’ll be up front with you, generally for my less human clients. I don’t charge any fee. No hourly rates, no dealing with insurance because many of them don’t have it. That sort of thing. Not every vampire is old as dirt to have invested in AT&T at ten cents a share or something.” Charles took a moment, then continued.
“But what I ask is if I can help you, I’ll help you free of charge. No obligation. If you can find your way to help out the outreach center somehow – volunteering once in a while, making a donation when you can; even just dropping off some blankets for the homeless folks that need it would be appreciated. But it’s not mandatory. Do you think you can see towards sticking around for a while? We can always use an extra driver. I have a feeling, you know how?” he said, smiling a little.
Jett held his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart. “Little bit.” he said, slightly amused.
“You ever handle a bus?” Charles asked.
“I don’t think I’ve handled anything quite that big.”
“It’s not like an eighteen wheeler, twelve gear kind of thing. And we’re talking like small school buses. The short ones. You can learn quick enough. We have patrons who could use transport. It’s kind of a glorified taxi service. But anything to help them get back on their feet. There’s a few of them that have cars that could use work. Maybe you could hook up with them. Guy that’s living out of his car, but all of a sudden can’t get the heater to turn on. He’s in bad shape overnight. A couple of spark plugs out of your pocket and a little time and effort can save a kid’s life. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up liking Vegas and stick around. Have some more ice cream sandwiches while you’re at it.”
“It’s a different change of pace from L.A., that’s for sure.”
“Yeah. We’re not that far to drive if you have any friends and want to go back and visit. The girl I mentioned before, Sayuri? Her mom lives out there. Last I knew, she’s in town visiting for the week, I guess.
“I don’t have anyone; I’ve been keeping to myself.” Jett reminded him.
“You should stop that mentality.” Charles chided.
“What’s the point if Marcus is just going to ruin it again?”
“Again, forget about him. There is no Marcus. Doesn’t exist. Delete the Wikipedia article. Whatever.”
Jett grinned a little, amused by the thought of deleting the Wikipedia entry. He was sure there were backups, but he also knew that Marcus liked to edit periodically.
“I’d say meet up with some of the other vampires around here, but right now the populace is a little… frightened. Probably three quarters of the people that lived here, vampirically speaking, were wiped out. And the ones who survived are understandably skittish. Are you familiar with Elysium?” Charles asked.
“Yeah.”
“The Inquisition attacked Elysium in force, en masse. Wiped all of them out in a matter of an hour.”
“I’m surprised any of you survived, to be honest.” Jett admitted.
“A few of us. Mostly thanks to Nick and his friends. They took out the leader, a man named Cyrus.” Charles stated. “Stick around. Give us a chance.”
“All right, I’ll stick around. I’ll have to find a place to stay.” Jett said after a moment’s thought.
“Worst case scenario, we have rooms here. If you have some money, plenty of hotels.” Charles offered.
“I’ve got money. Marcus has always made sure I never lacked. I just tried not to use it if I didn’t have to.”
“Well, hell, if he’s going to give it, abuse the privilege, fuck him. Go get yourself a suite. A couple of the guys used to work for the Montecito. I hear it’s a pretty good place. The new Prince is staying there, too. Hell, maybe you can find work of the less than normal variety, if that’s your thing. I don’t know what you’re into. I know Vince used to be the sheriff and was tired of the job; talking about not coming back.” Charles hinted.
“These days I work mostly as a mechanic unless something else comes my way, or some vampire wants me to do something, so I can get their blood for the month.” Jett stated “I’ve got training. I’ve got disciplines. I can help out.”
“Your call. Now, I have a question, though.”
“Yeah?
“Planning on killing yourself tonight?” Charles inquired.
“No.” Jett said after a brief moment.
“Think you can make it a few days, come back and see me again?” Charles said, continuing his line of questioning.
“Yeah, I think I can do that.” Jett nodded.
“Say three days? Do you think you can make it that long? I’ll be here to listen to you again. Hell, we don’t even have to do it here. We can go out and have beer if you want. Sing some karaoke, whatever you want. Just promise me you’ll stick around to do it.”
“Yeah, I will.” Jett promised.
“I’d offer you a hug, but I’m not sure if you seem the type.”
“Not usually. Depends on the person. I don’t know you that well.” Jett grinned a little.
Charles chuckled. “Well, ah… not against the idea, but fair enough. You are kind of cute. Generally not my type. I’ve been learning to broaden my horizons. Eternity to look forward to and all that.”
“Nor are you mine, though I do lean in that direction.” Jett admitted.
“Your wrist did not seem limp at all.” Charles joked. “I wasn’t sure.”
“Vince and I have had plenty of arguments over what counts as gay or not gay. Even though I’ve technically been with women, I’m still apparently gay.”
“I think labels are overused.” Charles said.
“Try telling him that.” Jett countered.
“Try telling him anything. I mean, if anyone in this town is in need of therapy, let me tell you…”
“Anyone who can get that man to go to therapy and talk…”
“Yea, that’s the other problem. That’s a whole different….nah. Oh, there’s an idea. Maybe you two could be good for each other. You get him to loosen the fuck up, he gets you to stop thinking about Marcus.” Charles offered up.
“I can try. I value my kneecaps though. I’ve had to replace them a few times.” Jett said, wincing at the memory.
“That sounds unpleasant. I don’t even want to know.” Charles frowned slightly.
“How do you think he got me to quit using?”
“Right.” Charles said, sighing.
“Maybe I should stop by and bug him. I do need to stop thinking about Marcus. And you said being friends with a good idea.”
“He was the sheriff of one of the most traveled cities in the nation under a prince who was slowly going insane.” Charles offered as insight. “I daresay he could use a friend. I know he was worried about Petra, too.”
“I didn’t know, or I would have been here.”
“Oh, and here.” Charles said, reaching for a business card from his desk to hand to Jett.
“Thank you.” Jett said, taking a moment to memorize it before pocketing.
“If you need it, that’s my number. Not the center’s number, direct line. So if you need me, I’ll pick up.”
“Thank you again. I mean it.” Jett said.
“Sure. Now, for what it’s worth, I don’t know how things are going to go around here. The prince is dead. Most the vamps are dead. Other people are talking about moving in. But if you have any leanings towards the Camarilla or whatever else, you might want to make yourself known, follow the rules, all that kind of stuff. That way, whoever comes out on top, at least you’ve introduced properly and played nice. You know what I mean?” Charles asked.
“Yeah, well, my leanings thus far has been primarily Camarilla. That’s what I’ve known, at least.”
“And yet you’re friends with Vince and Brandon.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t know others.” Jett countered. “Just that Camarilla was primary.”
“Some might call that fraternization. Could be getting a lot of trouble for that sort of thing.” Charles joked.
“Most people don’t want to go up against Marcus and bitch at him about me knowing that.” Jett pointed out.
“Fair. He made quite an impression. There was an Archon in town. He was investigating things before the attack happened. And then after the attack, he is the one responsible for putting the new Prince in place. New Prince seems to be on the older side. I don’t know a lot about him. I haven’t met him yet. He wants everyone to meet and greet at the next Elysium. Full moon. Maybe you should be there.” Charles mentioned casually.
“Probably should. It would help be helpful to know who’s around town for who I can get blood from.” Jett surmised.
“That’s what I was thinking. Granted, there’s a chance Marcus will be there, too, but just ignore him. Pretend he’s an ex-girlfriend, and you happen to go to the same bar. Just ignore him.”
“Sounds like an idea.” Jett said with a smile.
Charles gets up then, walking around the desk to open the door to his office. After waiting a moment for Jett to get up and follow, he’ll walk him all the way to the front door, pointing out things about the center as they went.
“This is my passion here.” Charles said as they stopped at the door.
“You’re doing good.” Jett offered.
“Thanks. All right. Have a good one. Try to not think about stuff as much. Perk up, enjoy what there is. And look at it this way. You’ll probably never hear any other psychiatrist say this, but if you’re going to off yourself, you might as well have the best week of your life before you go, right? You’re in Vegas. Enjoy it.”
Jett chuckled. “Thank you again.” he said, and then left through the front doors, making his way towards his car, trying to decide on his next step. Charles had given him several ideas of where to go next, though at least one of those – finding others around town – would have to wait. He just didn’t know how to find them yet. That left talking to Vince, whom he could call, or talking to Brandon, to whom he could drive since he lacked the number. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought, before firing up the engine, and pulling out of the parking lot. For now, securing a place to stay was in order, and it gave him more time to think.