Tony went up to his room. This sudden proposal was strange. Did he love her? Yes. At least he thought so. But right now she seemed so desperate and clingy. And marriage? That was a big step. Sure they were living together and had been through a lot, but still. Then there was the stuff with his sexuality, being made fun of, and her sleeping with everyone – group orgies, gang-bangs, Dave a few times, letting herself be used, but then getting all jealous as soon as he showed even a slight interest in experimentation.
That was weird too though – when he did stuff with Billy she didn’t seem to mind, but as soon as Jett showed up she had a problem with it. Maybe she just couldn’t stand the idea that other people found him attractive? If so what does that say about their relationship? Possessive much?
He plopped down on the bed and pulled out his SAT study guide. Tried to absorb himself in something else. To distract himself from the problems at hand, but it was not working. So much had happened between them. Hell she even offered herself up to Blackthorn without even talking to him first, and he had forgiven her. But now… it wasn’t like one big thing, but there were so many little things that had him confused. He needed to think, he needed to talk to someone, but who?
He got up from his bed and headed towards the garage. He got on his bike and sped off to the usual track, but once there he picked up his phone and called Jasper.
“Jasper? Yeah, it’s Tony, I could really use someone to talk to and, well, everyone else is sort of too close to the situation, so I was wondering if you had time, maybe, you could talk for a bit?”
Jasper replied casually “Of course, I’ll be right there.”
“Oh.” Tony said, ”I’m not at home. I’m at the race track, can you meet me there?”
There was the barest pause and then “Of course, as you wish, I’ll be there momentarily.”
Tony hung up the phone and waited. Soon enough Jasper walked onto the track, and headed straight for Tony, who greeted her with a slight nod, and they found a nice place to sit. Tony then began to explain what had just happened. He went back and forth in his rambling story, telling Jasper all his concerns. Jasper listened carefully and nodded, sensing that for this part at least, Tony needed someone to listen, not necessarily to give advice.
He disclosed to Jasper his growing interest in Jett, his experimentation with Billy. He held nothing back, and by the time he was done he was in tears, both of despair and frustration. Jasper could tell he was hurting, this wasn’t easy for him. Jasper then did something that she didn’t do often. She reached out and hugged Tony; pulled him close and held Tony’s head against her chest. She let him sob and comforted him as best she could.
“Shh… it’s ok. It’s ok to be conflicted and confused.” She gently stroked the hair on Tony’s head, “You’re young, nothing is cut and dry at this age, and you’ve been forced to grow up so fast. Everyone is expecting you to act like a man, but your not, you’re still a boy. It’s ok.”
Tony looked up, sniffled, and wiped the tears away. “Sorry.” he said and Jasper just shook her head. “No need to be sorry, you needed a good cry.” Tony nodded and then straightened himself up. “So I’m not sure what to do, and I thought, maybe I could get your advice.”
Jasper nodded and thought a moment, after which she said “I think it’s right and proper that you should explore your desires, that you should spread your wings as it were. After all you’ve only been with the one woman haven’t you? You need to test the waters. Men, women, whatever suits your fancy, no decision is set in stone, just because you try something once, doesn’t mean you ever have to do it again. Who knows? Maybe sex will be different with… someone else.” As she said this, Jasper, stepped closer and undid the top button of her shirt. Tony was drawn for a moment, but then backed away and put up his hands. “I… I can’t. Not with you looking like Danny”
Jasper shrugged “Just trying to help. Sorry if I made it awkward.”
Tony rubbed the back of his head. “A little yeah. But it’s ok. I appreciate the thought.”
Jasper smiled and waited for Tony to speak again. When Tony finally spoke he said “Look I… never made a deal with you right? I think I have an idea for one, but I’m not sure if you can do it or not. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea.”
“Well tell me what it is and we’ll figure it out together. You know I’m always ready to help.”
“I want you to make it not hurt anymore…”
Jasper shook her head. “I can’t change the past. I can’t make it so the pain never happened, but I can make you more capable of dealing with the pain, I can make you more… resilient.
Tony nodded, and having seen it done a few times, he extended his hand towards Jasper for the official handshake to seal the deal. They clasped hands and there was a small, warm fuzzy sensation; rather pleasant actually, and that was it. It was done. Just like that he felt… more assured, confident in himself. His head was swimming as thoughts re-arranged themselves. It wasn’t a change of mind, as much as it was a new perspective. He was looking at the world a different way now and he knew what he needed to do.
He called ahead to have Billy and Dave help distract Sayuri, or if possible get her out of the house for a bit. Once he got the all clear he headed home, went to the bedroom they once shared, and started moving his stuff out. Most of it he put in the garage. Then he simply needed to figure out where to sleep. Last time he tried to get some space, Sayuri had completely ignored his wishes and curled up next to him on the couch. The very thing he said he needed she denied him, selfishly seeking her own comfort at the expense of his. This time he wasn’t going to let that happen. He asked Dave and Billy, who might be willing to put up with him for a while. Both, of course, said they would and after some debate Tony decided to bunk with Billy. Mainly because he & Dave had done this so many many times before that he thought a change of pace might be nice.
Later that night as they both lay awake, Billy who had been mostly silent, decided to poke the elephant in the room. “So, like, you wanna talk about it?”
Tony shook his head a little. “You know most of it already. I talked a lot of it over with Jasper, I’m feeling a lot better now. I got my head on straight. It’s kind of hard to explain, but I made a deal with Jasper, and it helped me see things more clearly. I’m ready to move on now, I’m over her.”
Billy nodded. “I guess that’s a good thing. Seems like you got over her pretty quick, but some people are just like that I guess. So the question is ‘What’s next for Tony?’ you’re not gonna like, leave or nothing are you?”
Tony shook his head again. ”Nah, fuck that noise. She can leave if she wants to. I’m not going to abandon my friends because of her. I’m here for the long haul.” With that Tony actually got up and gave Billy a hug. Billy was a little startled, because this was unlike Tony, but at the same time he welcomed the affection.
With that they settled down, and both were able to finally sleep.