It has been a hundred years since my tormentor revealed his true nature to myself and my coterie. I find myself at a loss of what to believe in anymore. Here stands proof that God exists, and yet I cannot believe in Him, because what sort of deity – one who professes love and compassion unto others – would allow such atrocities as those that exist within the world today? What’s to say that the horrors of war won’t somehow become worse? Or disease? Or famine? Perhaps He has simply turned His back on all of us.
Despite all that, I learned that Avery made a deal with Samuel. He said it was for Alex’s sake – to make her free of the blood bond with her sire…but was there something else? I know not.
Over the past years I have set out, being away from Balgrad for at least thirty years, trying to scare up more Cainite history, and only coming up with scraps. Still, along the way I established contacts who could work for spies for us – hopefully things work out as well I hope.
More recently. our sires set us to another task – to help a Ventrue by the name of Nova Arpad, a none too delightful personage. They wished to ensure our loyalty by having us drink from them, which would prompt a bond. Avery and I flatly refused, and they were none too happy with us for that, and demanded this task in lieu of drinking.
Nova asked us to take care of what I feel was a rather petty matter; some of her jewelry had been stolen, including an ancient pectoral. She was quick to blame the Gypsies, and so we set out to locate them, this being the only lead we had. We did indeed find them, and at least the pectoral – but before anything could be inquired about it, we were ambushed by soldiers who turned out to be part of the Spanish Inquisition. We were separated, and I was captured, along with the gypsy fortune teller Delizbieta, who was also a Cainite.
I cannot begin to describe the agonizing torture I suffered at the hands of Father Giacomo, the head of the Inquisitors in Kronstadt. I gave no confession – I endured all of the pain, hoping that my coterie would come for me. I was not disappointed. I do not recall the rescue – I do not remember much until after I was forcibly fed some of Avery’s blood in order to heal some of the damage done to me.
Since then, I have been told to stay in bed, but I find it difficult to stay still. I am too restless. Sister Esperanza watches over me in the evenings, much like a mother might worry over a child. Avery stays with me during the day, keeping me safe and trying to keep the nightmares at bat, while also, to a degree, tending to my wounds. Alex has been most hospitable, letting me stay in her keep and feed from her servants and knights while I heal. I owe much to them all.
I cannot help but worry over what will happen next. We only partially recovered lost items, having received the pectoral from Delizbieta in exchange for saving her life. Nova will not be pleased, and I imaging our sires will not be either. What punishment will we face then? Moreover….will I be able to overcome Matthias himself, and end him before he can end me? I know not – only time will tell in this matter.