Dear Marcus
Dear? Ok sure, why not, it’s traditional. Anyway, I’m sending this e-mail because I don’t have a fucking clue how else to get a hold of you, and I’m not sure if you’ll even check this, you are probably busy reading your first edition copy of the Takenouchi Manuscripts or some such.
Anyway, Howe have you been? How are the kids? The grandkids, The great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandkids?
Good now that that bullshit is out of the way, I thought I’d catch you up on current events. I’m not sure how much you keep tabs on things, but some shit has happened, and I’
I’m writing to let you know it’s a thing, and/or invite you to something., so bear with me ya old bastich, like you don’t have time right?
Anyway, so Petra got Mind fucked, like hard, like literally, like some Tremre douche-bag, ripped her brain open and put it through a meat grinder and now she’s a gibbering mess. So first off, fuck that guy, second Brandon didn’t tell anyone for a while, he’s trying to fix it. And he blames himself, which, I guess he sort of should. One of his old enemies is the culprit, he used Petra as a way to get Brandon. Again, fuck this douche-bag. Problem is Brandon isn’t 100% sure who it is, or at least wasn’t. He tried tracking him, and for someone to hide from Brandon ,takes a bit of doing you know? But this guy’s good. Like scary good, in Brandon’s sort of way, with the business stuff and the politics and all that shit I was never good at.,
Anyway he found he was in Las Vegas (you know, the one in the USA, with all the Casino’s in case you haven’t been keeping up) By pure chance, I was living there at the time, well still am. You know what I mean, shut up, I can hear you grinning. So he gets this bright idea in his head, he’s going to recruit a couple Mage’s to try and help him, see if he can throw enough money at them to get them to use their Magical hoodoo stuff and help him track down this guy. See he knows he’s Somewhere in the city, but he’s got no name, no location, nothing, and it’s a Camarilla City. So Brandon decided (god knows why) to NOT just like walk in and set the whole city on fire. He wants to play nice, not step on any toes, not scare the shit out of the local vamps with his mere presence. So he sends these cute fluffy little mortals with clever parlor tricks off on the greatest milk run ever “Find Petras Attacker”
They are making progress, don’t get me wrong, good group of kids, and they can get places, we can’t and without making nearly as much noise, but it’s slow moving. Here’s where it gets weird. He likes these kids. Like… Likes them, as friends. Again, they aren’t a bad bunch, but Brandon’s never been the chummy, fun, come over & hang out type. So hey, maybe he’s coming down to earth a little, good thing, right? Well maybe not. Because low and behold a Fucking Demon shows up, “fallen Angel” style not like Malfean style, I never got the difference, but I know you intellectual types give a shit, so I’m being all specific like.
Anyway, he obliterates me, fine red mist I become, and not by choice for a change. Then because the cute one with the big boobs made pouty lips at him, he brought me back
I’m not sure if I’m happy to be back alive, or pissed because Once again I’m just not allowed to fucking retire. Jury’s still out on that one. Anyway, these kids, (and yes they are young, like one of them is like 15 or something, the oldest one is in his 20s) They talk to the thing. It asks to be taken to Brandon, so they say “sure why not”?
Like WTF? Ok fine, he shows up, Him and Brandon go talk in private. Wait…. Ok that’s weird I tried to “not” capitalize “Him” like 5 times, it won’t let me…. Brandon, is a him…. Ok that works…. The Demon is a Him… ok wtf. That’s just creepy…. Wtf? WtF? Ok moving on, because apparently the Universe and fate is involved or some shit, anyway. Brandon and the fucker who disintegrated me go talk, and then sort of Vanish, Everyone is freaking out, and stuff. A couple of days later, Brandon phones home. Says the Guy took him on some sort of Vision quest, or spiritual journey, or something.
I don’t know whats going on, when he’s going to come back, or what. He left Endric in charge. Yeah that fuck. He dug his ass up from under a church near the Vatican apparently, and the kids had to escort him and some package back. Not sure if I even WANT to know what that’s all about. Frankly the imagination for that one scares the hell out of me, but I’ll deny it if you ever tell anyone I said so.
Anyway. So above and beyond all that, these kids are acting like it’s business as usual, going on camping trips, having family dinners. You know, living daily lives…. I’m not sure if I’m annoyed or jealous. “I work, every-night, I’m the damn sheriff here. My very job, is to alert them to imminent threats (Brand, the demon, a group of mages infiltrating Elysium, stuff like that). So I’m sort of going back on my word, and not doing my job.
Oh, and the Inquisition is in town too. Cyrus is here, he’s got a whole Gaggle of little Tac-team Bible thumpers in SWAT gear. They kidnapped the kids and tried to torture them for Brandon’s whereabouts & info, to their credit they didn’t give ‘em nothing, they in fact, tried to kill Cyrus and spat on him, blew him up and stabbed him in the heart, so now I think he’s annoyed. Weird thing is, they then like, when straight back to life, moved houses, got a new apartment, but kept going to Brandon’s, driving around town. I mean, these people obviously had them under surveillance before, but no one is acting like they are under surveillance, and I myself haven’t seen anyone tailing them…… it has me a little creeped out.
So to end things on a Cheery note, the Magical types are planning a Birthday party for Brandon when he gets back, at my L.A. Bar.. not sure on the exact date yet, but I guess they wanted to do something nice and surprise him. So I thought I’d give you an excuse to dust yourself off, and come play in the real world….. just… shower first, there’s probably mold from sitting in the same sport for the last century or so…. Might want to like, brush it off or whatever….
Anyway, that’s that, and you’re you, and who knows if you’ll see this or, even give a shit or whatever, but I thought it fair to let you know, cause after all, Petra would have helped you.
Ta-Ta for now