Nikolai smiled across the table at Skyler. he didn’t notice, but the smile she returned was not genuine. She’d agreed to this date in order to try and let him down gently. She didn’t want to hurt him, but understood that may be unavoidable. Over the course of lunch, she thought over what to say, how to say it, and how he might react, so it was a very distracted meal for her, though he didn’t much seem to mind.
“Problems at work?” he’d finally asked.
“Hmmm? Oh….no.”
“Then what’s on your mind?” he asked, reaching across the table for her hand. She moved it before he could set his hand on hers.
“It’s…well…it’s us.” things were already turning out not like she’d hoped.
“Go on.” he said, his voice steady, though he was hoping this wasn’t heading in the direction he suspected.
“I don’t think we’re compatible.” she said, after a moment of silence while she tried to figure out how to phrase what she wanted to say.
“Why not? I thought we got along fine.”
“Nikolai, you’re a nice guy, don’t get me wrong…but I just don’t feel anything for you in that way. I’m sorry.” she reached for the check while he was sitting there absorbing this information.
“I’ll take care of the check.” he said quietly. He wasn’t going to show how he felt just now. She let go of the check, not feeling like arguing the point. Nikolai called the waitress over and handed her the credit card as Skyler gathered her things and prepared to go. Standing, she looked at him.
“I know it probably doesn’t mean much…but again, I’m sorry.” she turned and left then. He’d nodded, but she hadn’t noticed. She was gone before the waitress came back with Nikolai’s card. He got up and headed out to his car, and hit the dashboard once inside. I thought things were going so well. What’d I do wrong this time? he sighed and started the car and headed home. He was frustrated, and needed to let off steam.
It was along the drive home that he spent one of his precious few bits of vitae to heal what remained of his broken hand, so he could let off steam in the manner he wanted. Once home, he let Max out, then proceeded to get his bow and some arrows – he intended to go target practice out in the woods. He loaded the weapon, ammunition, and target into the back of his car and took off again, for the woods this time. He set up the target a ways out, and fired off the arrows, one by one.
He was not a flashy bowman, but years of practice afforded him a steady measure of accuracy. He was able to push the negative thoughts that crowded his mind away, and focus on the act of shooting. It was when he paused to get drinks of water, or when he went to retrieve the arrows, that the thoughts crowded him. He walked back to where he’d left his bow and sat on a fallen tree, feeling suddenly tired – tired of being alone, tired of walking the fine line between two worlds.
He’d been alone since Alina’s death, and it weighed heavy on him. Certainly, there had been one night stands over the centuries. Mostly women, but the occasional man. Nothing that would blossom into a relationship. He hadn’t wanted one for a long time; it was only recently that he’d wanted to try and get into one, and every time he tried, it failed. So what was wrong with him, he wondered. He shook his head and took another drink of water before getting back up to return to the bow.
Vince would probably kick his ass to hear him think this way. It was melancholy, and he needed to snap out of it. Perhaps though….perhaps Petra might grant him permission to live on his own. He could still do much for her, and she was quite capable of taking care of herself. Maybe that was a step in the right direction – maybe not, he didn’t know.
As he notched his arrow, his mind went still again, and he continued firing steady for some time, stopping only to retrieve the arrows as needed.