“I thought you didn’t like people.” Vince said, taking a drag from a cigarette as he leaned against the house’s outer wall.
“You don’t like people.” Petra reminded him. “I’m just picky about who I spend my time with.”
She waved her hand, trying to fan the smoke away. For his part, Vince moved so the smoke wouldn’t get to her. Normally, he didn’t smoke around, but he had a lot on his mind right then, and nearly all of it was about her. For one thing, very noticeable to him was the fact that, despite her being a ghoul, she seemed frailer; thinner; more absent than before. He was contemplating her looks, wondering whether she really was thinner or if it was just baggy clothes making her seem that way, or some combination therein, when a happy, half-grown German Shepard pup bounced over to lay his head in her lap.
The smile on her face was genuine, and she spent time petting the animal. Chase was a good boy, who knew when it was time to do his job, even if the person in question wasn’t his master. When Petra seemed better, Chase bounded off to go back and play with Liv and her friends in another part of the backyard, leaving them alone again.
“Why these people?” Vince asked.
“Careful, you’re starting to sound like a bigot.” she warned, a mild teasing tone to her voice.
“You know what I mean.” he grumbled, though inwardly he was happy to have her snark.
“Did Brandon tell you to keep an eye on me?” she asked, looking at him.
“No.” he scoffed. “You’re better now, so why would he?”
“He’s being overprotective, so I thought maybe he might have asked.” she sighed.
“How so?” Vince asked, dropping the butt of the cig into an empty beer bottle.
“The people here don’t even know me, yet they’ve done so much to help me.” she said, gesturing to everyone else. “I wondered why, for a while.”
“It’s the blood bond, they were getting paid to do it…” he said, ticking reasons off on his fingers as he went. “And I still want to know about the overprotective thing.”
“They’re afraid of a relapse.” she said, referring to Brandon and the others at home. “So I’ve been limited on what I can do. No going to town, and I still have little access to my things. They’re afraid that if I have a relapse, I might hurt myself.”
“Stupid. You’ve been better for a while now.” he grumbled.
She nodded. “At home it’s…well, it’s just different. You know how when you walk into a place, you can kind of just… get a feel for the atmosphere?”
“Yea?” he responded, intrigued with where this could be going.
“At home, it’s quiet, all the time. Even when they’re awake. It’s…stifling…dead. Which, given who lives there, it seems like a duh, but I’ve never picked up on it before, and it just…I don’t know. I feel inhibited, you know? Like I have to do or be a certain way.” she said, hugging herself. The too-long sleeves of her shirt draped over her hands, helping her to seem smaller; more childlike, just then.
“You’re snarling.” she said idly, not looking up from where she sat. To his surprise, he found he was, though wasn’t vocal. He quickly composed himself.
“The atmosphere here different, I take it?”
She nodded. “You can tell the difference too, I know you can. It’s just… more alive, and I don’t think I mean the literal life that lives here. Everyone here is free to do or be what they are. They bend over backwards for me, and it’s not out of a sense of guilt. They -” a loud splash and a burst of laughter interrupted her; both of them looked over to see Billy grinning ear to ear, standing in the middle of the pool.
“Petra, they’re kids.” Vince reminded her.
“When we were Liv’s age, we were adults – or did you forget?”
Vince scoffed. They were silent for a while, just watching everyone else. It didn’t go unnoticed that she would often smile when she spotted Nick. Eventually, it wrinkles him, and he had to ask.
“Do you remember anything from when you were…you know?” he said, finally sitting down at the table with her.
“Not really. When I was clear-headed, all I could remember was extreme fear, and even then I was still afraid, because I knew it would come back. Some of it I remember in vivid detail, and since you’re going to ask, yes, I was aware of the attempted regression.”
“Why do you say attempted?”
“Because although some names and attached feelings were pulled from me, it was more like a construct of what Kauffman thought I should be.” she stated, staring off into the distance.
“Are you okay with what you and Nick did?” he asked, needing to know.
“About that…” she began. “I’ll tell you what I told him when he asked. For me, it was like a dating sim kind of deal almost. See… I could nudge myself to make a certain choice. So yes, I chose to flirt with him, to express my need. Because yes Vince, the brain chemical dump from a good fuck was sorely needed, I felt. I’d been in that stable state for a while, and it didn’t seem to want to go away, so why not try to get what I feel was something I could use?”
“So you used the kid?” he said, sounding somewhat amused.
“Kind of? We both had a choice, and went with it. It was fun, it was enjoyable…it was something I needed.” she said with a sigh.
“You like him, don’t you?” he said.
“Yes.” she admitted
“He’s already in a relationship.” Vince pointed out.
“I know. I’ve met them. We get along.”
Vince opened his mouth, originally intending to ask what she saw in him, then thought better of it (for once). “Whatever makes you happy.” he said.
“Don’t worry, Vince, I still love you.” she said with a bit of a smile. “I’m always going to, you know. But I think by this point we both know we make better friends with benefits.”
“So I still get the benefits?” he grinned.
She rolled her eyes, but smiled, and that was all the answer he needed.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Billy and Sayuri were out for the evening, Liv was downstairs using the big tv for a movie party with her friends, and Nick was upstairs in his studio with his partners, strumming out a tune on the guitar as he listened to their nerd talk. It amused him to no end that Petra was easily able to keep up with Ryan in some areas of comic nerddom, most notably when it came to Marvel’s mutants. She and Alyssa could often geek out together about sci-fi or action movies to some extent, as well as more combat related things. The fact they all got along was what surprised him most, however.
“So is there, like, a part of you don’t tell anyone about?” Ryan asked at one point.
“This, what we’re talking about now. Brandon, Vince…those guys? They all know I like to dance, but not all of them have seen me do it. None of them, as far as I know, were aware of the fact I like to read comics and manga, urban fantasy or paranormal romance stuff. I kept it all on a locked tablet so they wouldn’t find out.” she said.
“Afraid of being made fun of, huh?” he asked.
“I guess so.” Petra responded. “I don’t worry about that with you guys though. I feel comfortable with you knowing.” she smiled.
“Awww…you’re so sweet.” Alyssa grinned, and put an arm around Petra. “Nick here doesn’t do any of that nerd stuff.” she said, almost pouting. “He’s so lame!” she was grinning, though. Nick stuck his tongue out at them, but continued to play.
“Well…” Ryan began. “That’s not entirel true? He may not be a comics nerd or a sci-fi guy, but he does like the MCU, he does like action movies, and I know he’s read in those genres before.”
“What? Really?” Alyssa asked. “Which books?”
“Dresden Files, mostly.” Nick responded. “Ryan also forgot I watch anime and read manga on occasion. Or used to, anyway.” he set his guitar down and looked at the rest of them on the couch. “Why do I feel like you guys are going to gang up on me in a minute?”
“We’re not.” Alyssa promised. “But it does begs a question of all of us…what’s something that no one, or almost no one, knows about you? I mean…we’re kind of a..a..umm…quadruple? Is that what you would call it?”
“I think what she means is we should trust each other and know each other better.” Ryan said. “That might be hard in some cases. Nick and I have known each other since middle school, so we already know a lot about each other at least.”
“Let’s just keep tonight fun.” Petra said. “Depending on the person, it could get dark quick, so stick to fun facts.”
“Kirk or Picard?” Ryan asked finally. Alyssa laughed. “What? It’s one of the first questions I asked Lys when we sat and talked.
“So what was her answer?” Nick asked.
“Locutus.” she responded, then giggled again.
Petra thought for a moment. “O’Neill.” she finall answered.
“Which series was that?” Ryan asked.
“Stargate.” Nick replied when the others seemed stumped.
“Hey, that wasn’t the question!” Ryan yelled, mock offended.
“I’m not much of a Trekkie.” Petra admitted. “I liked Stargate and Star Wars better, I’m sorry.”
“Well, fine…I guess.” he said, grinning after a minute.
They talked for a while longer, until Ryan had to leave for work. Alyssa took a cue and left as well, leaving Nick and Petra alone.
Nick got up after they left, joining her on the sofa there in his studio, leaning in to give her a kiss as he sat down. “You don’t want to go home, do you?”
“No really.” she said. “I feel like there’s nothing for me there right now.”
“Brandon’s there.” he pointed out.
“I know.” she said.
“He loves you, you know.”
“Believe it or not, I’m aware. He treats me differently than he does others. Differently than he ought, and that’s not the blood bond talking. Not completely, at least. I base it on how I see other favored ghouls get treated, and I’m getting a royal treatment for sure.” she sighed.
Nick put an arm around her. “Do you love him?”
“I want to say yes. But that could be centuries worth of the blood bond talking there. Even if I knew for sure, I don’t think I could be with him.”
“Why’s that?”
“Essentially, it’s Brandon himself. I really don’t think he’s capable of being vulnerable enough to let anyone in to love him.” she admitted, surprise crossing her face as she realizes what she has just said.
“Could you break the blood bond to find out? And Brandon…well…he’s been through some things recently…been reflecting on himself, so maybe things are different now?” he offered.
“Why are you pushing so much for Brandon? Aren’t you happy with me?” she asked.
“That’s not…of course I am. I guess I’m just afraid of him getting mad.” he said.
“Now you know why I don’t say anything. As to your other question, there are ways. Thaumaturgy is one, Vinculum is another. Time is yet another, but it would take centuries of never seeing or hearing him for that to work, if it does.”
Nick pulled her in close and just held her. “Sorry for asking.”
“It’s alright.” she admitted. “Let’s not worry about the future right now, okay? I just want to focus on the right now.”
He responded by pulling her in close, and giving her a kiss. “Alright then. Just us tonight. Nothing else.”