Chris had been home several days before he was able to take the time to comprehend his new situation. In fact, he deliberately turned his thoughts to it when Ashley left the house to take care of some errands, in order not to dwell on the life he’d taken just a couple days before. There were, of course, things to be thankful for. Namely, that he was no longer in Hell, and no longer imprisoned inside an inanimate object. Neither were things he had relished, and in the case of the object, he hadn’t be out long enough to realize much more than the absenteeism of his Father before he’d been bound to it.
Zadael steepled his fingers together and thought. He was out – but at what cost? He still didn’t fully comprehend how he was able to take a host. He only understood that the previous soul was no longer in residence – only imprints of memories and feelings remained, in varying intensities. Thinking it over, he came to the conclusion to not feel bad about a process he could not control, but to instead be grateful that it wasn’t a true possession.
With that matter settled, he decided to delve into his host’s memories. Since he had to deal with Ashely the most right now, he focused on memories of her – and was not prepared for the flood of emotions that came with those memories. Himself, he was not terribly experienced with emotions or what to call them. In the process of remembering, he learned what different emotions felt like, and mapped a comparison guide in his head as he learned. He may not be able to remember much of his life as Zadael, he reasoned, but he could put in the effort to be Chris and blend in. There would be time yet to amplify his abilities, remember his past, spread his teachings and continue to guide and protect humanity, as his Father had wanted.
Chris had met Ashely when he was fourteen and she thirteen. Friends first, not officially stating they had started dating until Ashely’s parents said she was old enough to do so at sixteen, though they (and everyone else) knew better. They made a good couple, rarely fought, and both were supportive of one another. They didn’t carry their intimacy to the next level until prom night, when Chris was eighteen and Ashely seventeen. This was an especially strong memory seared into Chris’ brain.
He’d picked her up in his truck and they’d gone together to the location their prom was being held at that year, having a good time dancing and being with friends. Rather than go to the after party like they’d promised their parents they would, however, Chris drove them out into the desert just outside of town, away from the lights where the stars could be seen. When the truck was turned off they both sat in the cab in awkward silence until Chris turned the truck back into accessory mode and put the radio on. It helped to ease the tension, and once relaxed they started making out.
Passion intensified, until at one point Ashely stopped, breathless, to tell him she was ready. It didn’t register on him what she meant until she reached behind her and started to unzip her dress. Chris stopped her. “Not here.” he’d said, giving her another kiss when she pouted. “Trust me.” he’d said, and climbed out of the truck. He’d unlocked the toolbox in the back and removed two items – an air mattress used for the occasional desert camping excursion with his buddies, and an air pump that plugged into the lighter socket.
“I had these there for camping.” he’d said apologetically, not wanting her to think he’d had it planned – because he hadn’t. The last thing he wanted was for their first time to be awkwardly uncomfortable in the cab of his truck. He laid the mattress out in the bed of the truck and inflated it, helping her up into the back once it had been inflated. She teased him a little “Are you sure he didn’t have this planned?” which had made him blush, but he nodded. The radio was still playing, and once they were both settled in the back they lay looking up at the stars awhile before resuming the make out session that gradually led to their first sexual encounter.
It wasn’t like in the movies where things went perfect – there were awkward moments when trying to put on protection, and parts where he felt bad because at least initially he was hurting her. Gradually they found their rhythm, the initial pain giving way to pleasure. After the first orgasm apiece they lay next to each other, staring up at the sky until they caught their breath. Chris was relaxed and half asleep when he felt stimulation and woke the rest of the way up. Ashely had decided she wanted more, and was giving him oral sex (something he knew she was good at by this point, as they’d experimented with oral but never anything more until that night).
She only worked at it until she got him ready again and then climbed on top of him, both of them forgetting about putting on a new condom, and just enjoyed the pleasure of each other, having a small handful of orgasms apiece before they settled, cuddling for a while before redressing and as was the plan, he dropped her off at her friend Meghan’s before heading home.
Zadael was almost embarrassed by intruding on something so intimate, but whether it was the memory itself bothering him or the physical reaction the memory caused that was bothering him was hard for him to differentiate, so he settled for reminding himself that he essentially was Chris now, and had the right to look into those memories.
Graduation was the next big event for the two, though it was tinged with a bit of sadness. Though they were supportive of one another, they would be separated from one another for extended periods of time, for the first time in four years. Ashley planned on attending UNLV, and Chris had opted to join the military. They stayed in contact, and he trusted her to be true to him. He saved his pay, and on his last leave before getting discharged, he’d proposed, out in the desert, under the stars, keeping a private moment private by doing it that way.
His leave wasn’t long, so he only had the opportunity to tell his parents and sister that she’d accepted, while she had plenty of time to tell whomever she wanted. When he came home for good, they planned to move in together and go over wedding details in their spare time while she worked and he attended school.
He had not planned on problems readjusting to civilian life, to the continuing nightmares, or the difficulty going to school would pose, though Zadael realized that the difficulties with school likely had much to do with the nightmares not letting him be able to get sleep enough to concentrate. One thing Chris never spoke of, even to Dr. Rosenburg, was the guilt. He’d seen soldiers and innocents alike die, and he’d come close to dying once or twice. Had it not been for the interference of his superior officer in at least one of those instances, Chris would not be alive. Zadael could identify. Though he could not remember much, he remembered a little of his own war before he was imprisoned, and it was not dissimilar.
He snapped out of it when he heard the front door open and then close, and Ashley appeared. He smiled at her – he couldn’t help it, he felt what Chris had felt, after all. He got up, greeting her with a kiss which made her smile, then headed out to help bring in groceries and put them away. It was decided, he felt. He would live as Chris for not, and not give Ashley anything to be overly concerned about. Cassandra, he decided, would be his first font of Faith – he was determined on that angle, though he had to do things in such a way that he didn’t jeopardize what he currently had. There would come a time when it would be right to reveal himself to Ashley, but that time was not now.
That evening, he helped prepare dinner at his insistence, and made it a night about just the two of them, forgoing any calls or texts that came in and didn’t seem to be important. They watched a couple movies on Netflix before calling it a night. Ashley coaxed him into taking a hot shower since he seemed tensed up and he’d agreed, feeling much more relaxed after the fact. When he headed back to the room he shared with Ashley, he couldn’t help but stop and stare. She was wearing a sexy as hell lingerie set, one that must have been new.
He’d either been staring too long or looked amusing, because she broke into a smile and with a light laugh asked him if he was okay. He responded with a grin and went over to her, reacting as she expected by pulling her into his arms and kissing her deeply. Zadael searched memories frantically throughout the passionate kiss to see what he should do next, worrying that if he performed off, it would be problematic. Though he wasn’t up to par, and she did comment on it, he reminded her, gently, that he had after all just come out of a coma, and then, with a sly smile, suggested she just help him practice more.
It was a wonderful night. He lay awake after she had fallen asleep, fulfilled, counting his stars that he was lucky. Still…it wouldn’t hurt to keep an eye out for hunters, like last time…or people like Cassandra, who held dangerous information. Gradually, he fell asleep, Ashely in his arms.