Lucas had been putting off thinking about it. However now, being alone in Jett’s room, away from the others in the house, he had little to do. He wasn’t in the mood to sketch, as evidenced by his book and pencils sitting on the desk at the other side of the room. Occupying his field of vision at present was the window, which looked out onto woods – only marred by droplets of rain. Rain which, he swore, took the shape of a flower. Once seen, he couldn’t unsee it, and that’s when his mind turned to Trish’s offer.
Did he want to be human again? He mulled it over, coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t really sure. There were things he missed, of course – like eating. But he didn’t really have too many drawbacks. Still, he’d never had a choice in the matter – not that he supposed many did. It was a very tempting offer.
So what was holding him back?
He wasn’t positive. Should he seek some advice? he didn’t know. At best, he could guess that, were he to ask Vince, Vince would tell him to go for it, and he guessed Greg would abstain. But what about Jett? Jett could go either way, he thought. He knew Jett felt sorry for changing him, because Lucas didn’t get that decision. Jett even had the decision forced upon him, as Lucas had been dying.
What about Brandon?
That was harder to discern. As best as he could figure, Brandon may just end up telling him whatever he though he wanted to hear. But that wasn’t what Lucas wanted – he wanted to know what Brandon actually felt about it. Jett too, for that matter. He’d have to explain why, and he didn’t want that getting around, so he’d need to be careful where he was when he explained why.
Who to talk to first?
Jett wouldn’t be home for a while yet, and Brandon wouldn’t wake until evening. It was a fair bet that Vince might be asleep as well, or out back in one of the hammocks. Lucas still wasn’t sure he was all that deserving of such a gift…but he could still seek out opinions. In the end, he knew it was up to him…he also knew that, the people most important to him would weigh heavily into his decision.
He sat up and reached for his phone, checking the time. If he headed into town now, Jett should be getting a break for lunch by the time he got there. Lucas didn’t have to think it over twice – he got up, grabbed keys to one of the cars and headed out to town to go surprise Jett for lunch. He pulled up outside the garage, and walked in, asking one of the guys behind the desk for Jett by name. He had to wait a while – Jett was finishing something up, transmission, he thought he remembered one of Jett’s co-workers saying.
When Jett came into the waiting area, he was wiping his hands on a red rag before tucking it into the back pocket of his coveralls. He smiled when he saw Lucas. “Hey.” he said, and tried to lean in for a quick kiss.
“Eww. No.” Lucas said, pushing Jett away with a hand. “You’re filthy.” This only made Jett laugh. He gave Lucas a peck on the cheek anyway and headed back tot he employee area, presumably to remove the coveralls. Sure enough, as soon as he came back, he was cleaned up.
“What brings you by?”
“I thought I’d surprise you for lunch.”
“Consider it a welcome one.” he said, putting an arm around Lucas, much to the disgust of the boss. Lucas noted it, and looked at Jett as they walked out.
“He still hasn’t fired you?”
“He can’t. He knows that as soon as he does I’ll be filing a lawsuit. He tried it once before, remember?”
“Oh. Right.” Lucas said. It was only now that he was remembering why he hadn’t been coming in – last time he was here, he’d gotten into a fight. “Well, better to hurry up and leave, then.”
They headed out to the parking lot, each getting into their respective vehicles, and headed for a place to eat.
“Okay. What’s on your mind?” Jett asked after they were seated.
“What do you mean?” Lucas asked.
“I can tell you have something on your mind. So tell me, okay?”
Lucas nodded. “I’ve been thinking about Trish’s offer.”
“You’ll have to clue me in.”
Lucas lowered his voice. “One of her relatives gave her a rose that can bring on person back to life – it even works on the undead. It was offered to me.”
Jett whistled. “Nice gift. I’m guessing you’re trying to decide?”
Lucas nodded. “I was going to get some opinions. It’s not like I have it bad right now – I mean, the worst thing is I can’t eat. On the other hand….well, it’s not like I got a choice, you know?”
“I know. I’m sorry for that.” Jett said somberly.
“Not your fault I was dying.” Lucas said, trying to dismiss that particular subject. “I wanted to ask what you thought I ought to do.”
“It’s not up to me….and there’s something to be said for being human. Bear in mind that, while you’d be alive, you won’t be able to do the things you’ve learned, you won’t live as long unless maybe you get ghouled, which has it’s own host of problems, and you become susceptible to mundane things – like disease.”
Lucas nodded as he stirred the coffee on the table – it was the only thing he’d ordered. He watched as Jett ate for a few minutes before talking again. “I was thinking of getting opinions from some other people.”
“Like who?”
“Vince. Brandon. Not sure about anyone else.”
“For what it’s worth Lucas, I’ll support you either decision. It’s not like I’m going to love you any less either.”
Lucas gave a small smile.
“Do talk to Brandon. Sooner as opposed to later is probably best.”
“Any idea what his concerns might be?”
“A fleeting lifespan. Your very dear to the both of us – he’s not going to want to risk losing that, I don’t think, but neither will he want to upset you. That’s what I think, at least.”
“Vince?”
“I’ll tell you more or less what he told me when I was deciding to remain a ghoul or not. He told me that he’d never recommend it to anyone, not even me. He told me if I was going to do it, to try and do something, like better the world through music – something like that. Devote yourself to something.”
Lucas nodded, absently picked up the mug and brought it to his lips. Then the smell of coffee filled his nostrils, and he put it back down with a sigh. “I think I’ll try talking to Vince when I get home – maybe Greg too.”
“That might not be such a bad idea. Greg’s usually willing to talk, but if he doesn’t want to talk about something, I’m betting he can be stubborn about it, so maybe try calling and asking beforehand – not sure.”
“Not a bad idea.”
“No.” Jett replied, looking at his watch as he chewed the last bites of his lunch. “I’ve got to get back to the shop.” he stood up. “See you later?” Lucas nodded and Jett leaned down for a kiss. Lucas didn’t push him away this time. He watched as Jett left, then pulled out his phone. Talking to Greg wasn’t the worst idea…maybe he could get Greg to meet him. He pulled up his contacts and dialed Greg, getting an answer after a couple of rings.
“Hello?”
“Hi Greg. It’s Lucas.”
“Lucas! Why are you calling? Everything ok?”
“Mostly. I wanted to get your opinion on something.”
“What might that be?”
“Trish’s offer of the rose.”
Greg was silent for a moment. “You want my opinion on whether or not to take it? that’s not something I’m going to meddle with. It’s your decision and yours alone, for better or for worse. You’ll not get an opinion out of me.”
“Oh. Okay. Well…thanks anyway.”
“Since you’re in town anyway, you could always stop by and try talking to Trish.”
“Okay. Yea…I’ll give that a try. Talk to you later.”
“Later, Lucas.”
Lucas got up from his seat, threw the coffee out on his way to the exit, and headed for the car. He passed a group of teenagers on his way out, who heckled him for being gay (they had seen he and Jett kiss), but he ignored them, getting into his car and then pulled out of the parking lot, making his way toward Trish’s place. She was surprised to see him when he arrived, but greeted him warmly and invited him in.
“So, Lucas…what brings you by?”
“Well…your grandfather suggested I talk to you.”
“What on earth about?” she asked as she got up to get herself a drink.
“The rose.”
“I take it you’ve come to a decision on that?”
“No – that’s just it. I haven’t. I don’t know what to decide. I asked Jett’s onion, tried asking Greg, but he’s remaining neutral. I have a good idea of what Vince might say, but I was going to ask him anyway, and also talk to Brandon.”
Trish set her drink on the coffee table and put a hand on either side of Lucas’ face. “Lucas, honey, I think you’re thinking about this far too hard. It’s supposed to be about what you want. Don’t you know your own mind on the matter?”
“I don’t. That’s just it…I don’t.”
“I think maybe you do…you just don’t want to admit it to yourself.”
“What makes you say that?”
Trish moved her hands away from Lucas’ face, and placed on over his heart.
“A mother’s intuition.” she said with a wry smile. “Seriously though, something is just telling me that you’re not being honest with yourself. I’ll try to help, ok?”
“Help is appreciated.”
She moved her hand. “Let’s start with the simple. What are the pros of you remaining a vampire? Tick them off.”
“Extended lifespan.” Trish held up a finger. “Immune to illness.” Another finger. “Disciplines.” A third finger.
“Anything else?” she asked.
“Well, specific to a very few of us, I can be out during the day.”
She held up a fourth finger. “That’s four things. Let’s think of the cons.”
“Long life.” Lucas said after a minute, and Trish held up a finger. “Can’t eat.” A second finger. “I have to survive on blood.” Third finger. “The beast.” Fourth finger. “More enemies.” She held up her entire hand. “I didn’t get a choice.” Six fingers.
“Anything else?”
“Can’t think of anything.”
“Four pros, Six cons. The cons outweigh the pros. Now….rather than take in the pros and cons of being human – you and I both know what they are, the cons at least – and tell me…what do you miss about being human?”
“What do I miss?”
She nodded. Lucas thought about it. “Well…not having the beast riding me is a big one.”
“I said what do you miss, not what’s a good pro.”
Lucas closed his eyes and sighed, searching for the answers to her question.
“I miss feeling how warm the sun is. It’s not that I don’t feel it now – just that it’s a different sensation.”
“Go on.” she quietly encouraged.
“I miss eating, so much. I mean, I’m Italian and Spanish…have you ever heard of an Itailian that didn’t eat pasta?”
“Trish smiled. “No, I guess not. What else?”
“I miss….hell, I miss being breathless after sex. I miss being able to get an erection without willfully forcing blood to it.” he was quiet for a few before continuing, in a much quieter voice. “I miss being me.”
“All very valid responses.” she said, then took one of his hands into hers. “Can you tell me what you meant by that last bit?” she said, keeping her voice low and level.
“I may have developed more confidence since my change – I’m not really sure there – I don’t feel like myself. The minute I woke up a vampire I tried to kill someone. I nearly killed another person some months back because I got angry.” He pressed the heel of his free hand against his eyes, but blood tears started to seep out anyway. “Ever since I was made a vampire…there’s been this other riding me. It’s me, but not me, and it’s known as the Beast. I hate it – I feel like I’m a different person, walking a fine line between two paths or something – I don’t know how else to explain it.” he admitted.
“It seems to me you have your answer.” she said quietly. “If you took the rose, and became human again, you wouldn’t have that beast.”
“But my lifespan would be shorter, and I’d eventually end up hurting Jett and Brandon because I’ll have died, and I don’t want that.”
“There are other ways to make you immortal.” she spoke quietly. “In fact, I can help with that.”
“How? how on earth could you help with that?”
“Do you remember when Chance received his ambrosia for braving Hell to find Emily and I? He never took it – said it seemed redundant when he was already taking Charles’ blood. He gifted it to me, to do as I see fit with it.”
“You’d really give that to me?”
“I might. But we’d have to be sure. Beyond that – ”
“Beyond that,” a voice said from behind them “It’s highly frowned upon to give it to any mortal, no matter the circumstance. Their may be repercussions. I can help, as far as the immortality thing goes.”
“Samuel.” Trish chided. “You shouldn’t be interrupting my conversations.”
“Forgive me, but I felt I had to interject – for your safety.”
Trish just nodded. “Fair enough. You really think you could help Lucas extend his life?”
“I do.”
“How?”
“Trish, I am an extension of the Divine. While I may not be at full power, there are some things I can still do, though he may have to make a deal with me. No souls involved, I promise.”
“It’s something I can think about.” Lucas said.
“So Lucas,” Trish said, turning away from Samuel to look at him. “Now that we’ve uncovered this information, would you like the rose now…or do you still want to consult Vince and Brandon?”
“I have the feeling that Brandon may not divulge his true feelings ans just say what it is I want to hear. Jett kind of reinforced this idea.”
“Vince?”
“Likely all for me going human. But I wouldn’t mind asking him if it should be a now or later thing.” he pulled out his phone, preparing to dial Vince. Trish stopped him with a hand over his.
“I’ll text him, and ask him to come over. You continue to relax. I’ll send the text, then get the baby when he gets here- she’ll need to be fed by then.”
“Alright.” Lucas said, leaning back against the couch.
Trish pulled out her phone, and sent a brief text to Vince: Can you come over? I’d like to talk, and could use company besides. And, if you want, you can feed Emily. She set the phone on the coffee table. “Now it’s a waiting game.”
“Waiting…yay…” Lucas said deadpan. he smiled a little though, and Trish smiled back.