Jakob had been spending a fair amount of his evenings since arriving in Phoenix at The Shadowed Page, speaking with its proprietor, a young man by the name of Bobart Prescott. This was much to the chagrin of at least one Tremere, it seemed. Troubling the Tremere was a bonus enjoyment of his talks with Bobart, who was rather enthusiastic and rambling in their discussions, but it was nothing Jakob minded. To add to his amusement, he’d often give a smile and nod at the Tremere before he left, which only seemed to agitate the other vampire.
The smile on his face lasted for a few blocks as he walked toward the car. Still amused, he checked in on his phone to see where Avery might be, only to get a brief reply of ‘busy’ when he texted to ask what he was up to. Shrugging slightly, he decided to drive around town to help himself learn his way around. It was when he stopped, having decided to hunt for the night, that something caught his eye.
He had his hands in pockets, walking about the streets, his eye son a particular specimen of prey, when he got distracted. Refracted light from a door opening landed in his eye, and by the time he’d turned to look back, his prey was gone. Annoyed, he looked over at the place that had cost him his dinner. It appeared to be a restaurant of some kind, a distillery, or microbrewery, perhaps. The door was paned glass set in a wood frame, and lining the front of the store were other large windows, set into the frame of the wall. In the interior, set near these windows so that they looked out onto the bustling downtown streets, were white-topped tables, that sat two to a table.
Set at the back corner, he spotted Avery. Across from him was another individual, dressed casually, with long dark hair, and otherwise masculine appearance. Jakob pulled down his hat a little to shield h himself from any further refractions, and hopefully Avery’s keen eye. He was curious about this individual Avery was having a business meeting with. After some observation, he was able to learn that this other individual communicated via sign language, so he continued to watch a little. He was getting ready to leave, to find new prey, when he noticed Avery smile, lean forward and give the man across from him a peck on the cheek.
This gave Jakob pause. Had he really seen what he just saw? Further observation concluded that, yes, his eyes had not deceived him. All thoughts of prey flew from his head, as he growled low under his breath and stalked off toward the car. He climbed in, slamming the door behind him, and headed for the place he shared with Avery — the place they were starting to settle into together.
He kept his calm as he headed toward the door, even nodding slightly to passing neighbors as they left. Jakob made it inside without losing to the anger inside, though as he fumbled with the keys in the door, the whispers of his Beast grew louder. Upon finally getting inside, he closed the door shut and went immediately for a pillow, where he muffled screams long and loud into it, before tearing it apart. He went through the house, destroying possessions left and right, trying to soothe his anger. He didn’t destroy anything of Avery’s, despite his Beast’s voice growing louder, declaring that he ought to possess Avery, claim him’ ‘No one takes your things from you’ it purred, egging him on.
Eventually, still angry, he started cleaning up. Avery would know something had happened, but Jakob was determined he shouldn’t know exactly what. He debated leaving, but that wouldn’t help matters any. Instead, he set up in the living room a stool, and brought out his cello. He needed to work some things out in his head, and playing helped him do that. Gradually, the Beast calmed for now, and he got lost in the playing for a bit before it whispered to him once again, lest he forget: ‘Avery is mine’.
His fingers fumbled on the neck, and his bow paused for the briefest of seconds as he segued into Misty Mountains from Beginning to End. As he progressed, he went into Bach and Chopin, mulling over memories in his mind. Why did it bother him so much that Avery was with someone? Someone he’d kissed? Someone — he stopped as a loud twang sounded from the cello — one of the strings had snapped. With a sigh, he dug out a new string and strung it onto the cello, being careful and delicate with the instrument, as it was old, but well taken care of.
Now — where was he? Ah, yes. He’d been in the middle of a Cello Suite No. 5 in C Minor by Bach. He picked how bow back up and began again, this time trying to be more careful about the strings and the instrument itself. When he felt calm enough, he asked himself again: Why don’t I want Avery with another man? One song segued into another, and into another, before a tiny voice at the back of his mind, one not of his Beast, whispered ‘Because you love him’.
He froze, dead in the midst of the music, as the realization of this tiny phrase washed over him. It was though as in that instant, years of memories flooded into his brain all at once that seemed to confirm this. Head down, and with shaky hands, he picked the bow back up after a long moment, and pulled it across the strings, mulling this realization over.
’How do you tell Avery?’ the little voice whispered.
’I don’t’ was Jakob’s response.
’Why not?’ The little voice asked.
’I just don’t’ Jakob reiterated.
’What’s holding you back?’ the little voice pondered.
Rather than hide from the questions, as he’d done so often before, he forced himself to muddle for answers through the haze and fear, before he settled on the answer. It was, and always had been, fear. But a fear of what? ‘Of losing him like you did Katarina’ the little voice whispered. Memories of Katarina came to mind as he played. She had been the love of his life in his breathing days. He’d had a reputation for womanizing, and she had been the one to tame him, and he’d promised to wed her and calm down, but he never got the chance.
His father has sent him away, and by the time he was able to leave the monastery where he had been sent, Katarina had been married off and had children, though she died in childbirth after the second child. It was the last time he could remember truly crying, and now, here were the tears again at her memory. Katarina had meant so much, and since her, he had kept himself at arm’s length away from anyone, afraid to love so closely and lose it again. He’d begun to open up again with his coterie — Avery, Alexis, and Sister Elena. But that had fallen apart too. Sister Elena had abandoned them, as had Alexis some centuries later. Avery was the only one left, and he’d long since tired of chasing after anyone for affection, unless it came to food.
He couldn’t afford to lose Avery — not as a friend, not as a partner — not in any way. So yes, he was jealous, yes, he guarded his feelings for Avery close, having only just realized them himself. He wiped at his face, and stared with a small amount of horror that they were bloodstained. Carefully, he set the instrument on it’s stand, and the bow on a table as he went to clean up.
‘When are you going to tell him?’ the little voice wanted to know.
Jakob didn’t know. He should do it soon, but he didn’t know when Avery would be back. To occupy himself, he went into the kitchen to run with an idea he had in his head. Avery might kill him for getting into the baking supplied and equipment, but he needed to do it. Online, he found a recipe for a small red velvet cake. He couldn’t figure out some of the equipment, so he worked as much by hand as possible. He baked it, and when it came out of the oven, he thought it looked alright. Again, following instructions, he let it cool a bit before tapping it out of the pan onto a cutting board, where he roughly cut it into the shape of a heart.
‘This is lame’ he thought.
‘Avery will love it!’ the little voice said.
He continued, attempting his best to frost it plainly, though it didn’t look great afterward. By some miracle, he’d found a tube of store-bought writing icing, and used that to write a message on the small cake, before placing the glass dome from the dessert stand over it. He next wrote a small note to place next to it, and then cleaned up, so Avery hopefully wouldn’t be too upset.
A nervous wreck now, he grabbed his jacket and left. As much as he desperately wanted to say and see what Avery thought, he was afraid to, and also, he needed dinner, though he kept hunting to staying within walking distance. When he got around to the kitchen, and he would, because the place at least smelled great, he’d see the simple little, clumsily shaped, red velvet heart cake, with white icing and red writing, that simply said:
I’m sorry
– J
As for the note next to it?
I hope it’s not too late