The night sky glittered with stars, the view unfiltered by air or light pollution in the midst of the desert. The land itself was quiet; animals and insects darting and skittering in the dark, keeping their distance from the campfire Nick found himself heading toward. On his own, no pack on his back nor walking stick in hand, dressed casually and comfortably, the chill of a typical desert night not bothering him.
Around the campfire were logs for sitting, though there were no other signs of a typical camp. Across from the fire sat a figure, one that was difficult to make out until Nick grew closer. Something about them was both alien and familiar, but just then he felt a sense of intrusion into his sacred space, so he spoke. He had intended to ask Who are you, or perhaps even Why are you here, but instead he found himself asking “What are you?”
“All that you are, and all you could ever be.” came the response.
“I don’t understand.” Nick responded, still unable to make out the figure, and feeling cautious and on edge.
The figure stood, their form beginning to change, and bleed into the night sky above and around them, encapsulating the feeling of overwhelming greatness and potential. “Phenomenal comic power” they said. Although their current form was difficult to discern, he could not help but get a mental picture of the genie from Aladdin. The only difference, was that this was somehow more terrifying in its intensity.
“Itty bitty living space?” Nick found himself saying, unable to help but finish the line.
Their form coalesced into a single entity, once more taking human shape, with more clearly defined features Nick could make out. Their form was male; older, somewhat scarred, with features that spoke of experience and otherness; an overall sense of ethereality.
“That living space is you.” their voice said, its timbre echoing through the desert night as they reached over to poke him in the third eye before sitting once more. They sighed, their voice a more normal, human tone. “I should be stronger.” they mused.
“I’m….sorry?” Nick said, still not sure if he were dreaming.
“You should be; it’s your fault, after all.” they said, turning their attention to the fire momentarily.
“I don’t follow.” Nick said, finally taking a seat on the side of the fire opposite the entity.
“Of course you don’t. I’ve had a hard time reaching you.” they said.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“All that you are, and all you could ever be.” they repeated.
“A straight answer, please.” Nick said, sounding annoyed.
“You’re intelligent enough to get it, though in the spirit of not wasting time, I’ll just tell you – I’m your Avatar.”
“I was beginning to wonder if I’d meet you. Or if I had and just didn’t recognize you.”
“Not for lack of trying.” they said.
“So why reach out now?” he asked.
“To give you a couple of hard truths.” they spoke, tilting their head this way and that as they studied him. It was unsettling.
“Which are?”
“You’re getting stagnant, magically speaking. Learn more, get some variety in your work, push harder, study more. Don’t think I’m going to let you keep sliding.” they warned.
“I am learning.” Nick argued. “I’ve come a long way with no teacher to help me.”
“Your understanding has come a long way. Your application of that knowledge has not.” they said, seeming annoyed.
“What do you expect me to do?” Nick asked.
“Fuck around. Find out.” they said, taking a drag from a cigarette that appeared out of nowhere.
“I’d rather not.” he admitted.
“That’s the problem, isn’t it? And that segues into your personal life.” they said.
“My personal life is fine.” he grumbled.
“It’s not, and you know it.” they said, narrowing their eyes at Nick. “Ask yourself one thing – what’s tying you down?”
“I don’t – “
“You do!” they snapped. “Think, dammit! Why do you hold back?”
“I’m trying to tell you!” Nick growled,
“Responsibility!” they snapped. “And that doesn’t help either.” they said, referring to the growling.
“What about my responsibilities?” he snapped back.
“You’re responsible for yourself, first and foremost. Other people can take care of themselves.” they countered. “We can make anything happen if only you work harder at it – and then you can do or have or be anything you want! Take care of yourself first, dumbass. Who cares about anyone else?”
“I do.” he growled again.
“You can’t keep hand holding everyone. You’ve been so caught up in yourself and your woes that it’s holding you back. Fuck around. Drink socially, away from those who would stop you. Take some drugs and experience new heights. Literally fuck around. Seek out those new experiences. How can you grow if you’re stagnant?”
Nick was silent. They had a very good point with that last question. But he still wasn’t sure it was right.
“You’d better think on it.” they said, standing up. “Because I’m not going anywhere. If anything, I’m going to push you harder. I know what your potential is – I’ve seen it. Now you better damn well live up to it.”
They faded into the surroundings again, until Nick could no longer sense that they were there. As they faded, the campfire died, and there was no reason to remain. Nick stood, walking away from the campfire, trying to make his way out of the dark, and back to the light.