The sheer amount of depression that took over him when Brandon expressed his disappointment was something he hadn’t felt in a long time. He’d tried to turn to old habits to cope by getting a drink, but his sister had prevented him from doing so. Possibly for the better, but it would have only been his second drink of the evening. He was wishing Val would get back in touch with him, as he was desperate to try and atone for his mistake, but there was nothing, and he didn’t want to potentially piss her off by spamming texts.
The rest of the night was spoiled, and he spent the rest of the night in relative silence – even laying awake part of the night, unable to stop thinking about his mistake; unable to stop berating himself. It didn’t occur to him to reach out and contact Charles about any of this, though he might not have anyway, due to Liv being in the same room.
Nick tried to take his mind off of things during their outing in Detroit, but it all came rushing back as he stood there, oddly calm, as Roger were incinerated. That didn’t mean he wasn’t fearful on the inside – thoughts of punishment crept in at that point. Later, at the museum, he was able to push things back for Liv’s sake. The death of someone she knew shouldn’t have happened, and was something she shouldn’t have had to deal with for a long time yet, he felt. So he tried talking to her, reassuring her – both for that and Roger’s death.
On the plane ride home, he was quiet again, stealing glances at Brandon every so often in order to gauge his mood, though that didn’t help him to not think about what might have happened if Brandon had gotten angry rather than disappointed. Eventually, he put in some earbuds and listened to music as a way to just drift with the sounds and rhythms.
Now he found himself with Val, on the way to Kauffman’s, and eager to make up for his mistake. He’d left the care of Chase and his belongings to the others in order to keep a low profile while observing, giving no thought as to what Val might have in mind. I will succeed at getting some useful information, he told himself. I’ll do better.